The Culture Shock of Leaving the USA

When we were in middle school, we were told that Europe was a “traditional” and “old world” place — something that gave Lord of the Rings vibes, with castles, monarchies, and lots of wars. That was the image we had: magical, dramatic, and a little scary. But because Lord of the Rings was awesome, so we got curious.

Garbodog's paw holding up the EU flag.

As we started learning more, we were surprised to discover that Europe is actually... pretty normal — but with a twist that lit up our little autistic brain: trains. Okay, and also some socialism that just made sense. That discovery opened a rabbit hole. We started watching all kinds of “my life in this country” vlogs and quickly became obsessed. Some of our favorite countries at the time were the Netherlands, Germany, and Japan. We were fascinated by the culture, history, and everyday life of people in other countries — especially in the EU. It felt impossible that we’d ever get to live in that “greener side” of the world, but somehow… it became real.

The Big Move Planning and pulling off this move took a lot of effort. We decided to move to Spain to be with our significant other. Originally, the plan was to travel around the U.S. for a while, study Spanish and prepare for university, and pick up odd jobs along the way. But with the 2024 elections looming, it became clear we needed to move sooner rather than later. We worked a full-time job (which was rough on us due to our disabilities), saved as much money as we could over the course of seven months, and started gathering all the necessary documents. And whew — that part was easier said than done! As for the school, it was hard to find a language school that also offered a visa, but thankfully we found one here in Valencia. It was pretty much a pay for school and get going kind of ordeal. We then had to expedite our move due to local tensions and school start dates. While it’s no longer available, we were able to apply for our visa through the school and from within Spain rather than in the USA.

With everything together, it was finally time to get the spruce outta there! We took a Concord bus (highly recommend) from Maine to Boston and our heart was racing the whole time. We were heading straight towards uncertainty without anything behind us. No backup plans and no failsafes, only forward. Got head busy so fast. Thankfully, our worries were unwarranted and everything went smoothly!! We even met a new friend once we touched down and were waiting in line with many other immigrants — he was a huge help calming us down. After our transfer flight, we were able to finally see something we’d never seen before. Walking along the pavement, we saw three giant flags: the Valencian flag, the Spanish flag, and the EU flag. It was overwhelming and for the first time, we felt safe.

Us in line waiting to board a small regional plane in Madrid at like 6am.

In the USA, life was like a pay-to-lose system, where you live only to work in a rat race and nothing else matters. No matter where we lived, it was all the same. With what little time off we did get, the parks and nature were bountiful and beautiful. Can easily say picnics were our favorite pastime — especially with friends. Food in America was delicious, but rather expensive.The worst part of living there was that unless you lived in a dense, expensive city, you were bound to spend most of your life glued to a car without any choice. And if you were disabled like us, then you were just screwed.

While we haven’t lived in Spain for too long, we can already see and experience the more laid-back culture — and that’s for better or worse. Documents and procedures are always delayed or take a very long time to process, and no one is prompt with timing. It’s actually common and socially acceptable to be late to anything — including work or appointments. But at the same time, people get a break. We’ve got all the time in the world. If you truly need something fast, then order it sooner rather than later, because it’s going to come later!

Another thing that is vastly different is that people don’t exaggerate friendliness for the sake of being liked. It’s genuine reactions and genuine relationships that build up — not forced happiness. They’re also way more blunt and don’t beat around the bush with niceties or tiresome manners. People are very straightforward and will speak their minds, especially when they notice change or when you ask them, “Do these pants make me look fat?” (By the way, no — they make you look thicc. Keep slaying!👌)

Unlike in the USA, people here DO NOT live to work, they WORK TO LIVE. This small switch in perspective makes life 100% better. Work isn’t all that important — you work to pay for your home, necessities, and save up for your wants. Groceries, rent, public transit, and many other needs are easily affordable with any single job. And with couples, a whole family can be supported with ease. You don’t have to be rich to not be poor.

Lastly is the public transportation! Neither we nor our boyfriend can drive, so public transit is super vital! Biking is also a HUGE plus. Compared to the USA (including NYC), the public transit here is a dream come true. Honestly, we’ll probably do a whole other blog all about public transit haha. We’re just so happy to move around freely and get things done with ease. Other people, especially those who are disabled, can get around freely without needing to rely on others. The value of independence and self-movement — life here feels more human.

Top down view of a large train station.

Once we have residency, we’ll be allowed to move around and discover the other 33 countries and see all our friends here. Because of the Schengen Area, we started to think borders are kinda stupid — along with segregation of people based on nationality. Everyone in North America is screaming to strengthen borders and separate cultures. We think it would be more beneficial for everyone if there weren’t any borders to begin with — or at least create a union like the Schengen Area.

Another thing we really love here is the fact that food is cheap but still high-quality! In the USA, we could only afford maybe two meals a day. Here, we kinda harmed weight since we started eating three times haha! There isn’t much choice on “brands” unless you go to a bigger store, as individual stores choose what they think is best for their shelves. This is both good and bad: we don’t have to worry about brand comparisons, but they don’t stock a lot of spices or seasonings. For specific things like nutritional yeast and vegan cheese, we have to go to specialty stores.

Pedestrian street lined with shops.

Legal processes are complicated when you’re an immigrant. There are so many things you need, and you’re supposed to get them as fast as possible, but let’s be real — like we said before, everything takes ages. Our NIE has been delayed for four months, and some people can’t even get in. The main site to apply for an appointment is always swarmed with bots. We actually had to buy our free appointment through the black market here...

For the record, can we take a moment to ask: why are the street names SUPER complicated?! It’s like each street has a first and two last names — like everyone else. Maybe there’s a system, but why can’t it just be “Calle de Perro” or “Calle de Baowao” instead of “Calle de Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Crispín Crispiniano María Remedios de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz Picasso”? And if you’re wondering — yes, that’s a real person’s name. No, we don’t know if he actually has a street after him.

Being that as it may — would we ever move back to the USA? No. Absolutely not, at least as far as we have control of the situation. And if we absolutely had to, we’d have to move back to NYC, as that’s the only place we’d feel safe-ish. Right now, while we don’t know how long we’ll be in Spain, we do want to be in the EU indefinitely. We’d love to visit the USA again once everything settles down and politics gets their head out of their butt — only to visit friends in NYC and family in Maine. Okay — and maybe visit some other landmarks along the Amtrak lines!

Two giant flags both at an angle from eachother, left being the flag of Valencia and the righ the flag of Spain.

We love it here in Spain. We’ve already had our lives broadened from what little we’ve experienced so far! We’re so excited to visit more places and just enjoy life. Have you — or at least thought of — moving abroad? If so, let us know below in the comments. We love hearing from you! 💖 Until next time!!

-Lily, Meadow/Willow, Olive2025-6-30